Sinking

Sinking1

Ever wanted to say something that would make people’s heads turn, not because you wanted their reaction or even attention, but because it was the closest description to your reality that you could get?  It didn’t necessarily mean you were going to do whatever was said, but it was, or is, “like” ______.

Ever held on so hard, just because you didn’t have the heart to give up?  People love you.  Care about you.  Count on you.  You want to disappear, but it will hurt too many people.  Affect too many people negatively.  They say, “Do your own thing,” but deep down they selfishly don’t want you to do that, exactly.

Maybe people don’t exactly know what to do with you.  That’s a fun feeling.  While true, the ones who really care are just gauging and trying to be respectful, it just makes you feel like an asshole or freak.  Then comes a mask to wear – even to the ones you never meant to wear one around.  But it’s either that, or slip into the black.

The fight for air…. Air to get done what you need to get done.  Air to stay loving and patient.  Air for responsibilities.  Air for yourself.  Air to be there for others.  Air to wear another smile (fake or not).  Air….. suddenly suffocating on it.  Maybe buried by it.  Drowning in it….. Eventually, just giving in…. and sinking seems like such a good idea.  Tired of gasping.  The struggle to stay just above water…..

This is the depth of my darkness…  And this is just the surface of my depth.  There is no invitation to come in.  “I’ll be fine.”


POSE:
Image Essentials – Hanging Falling – Male Falling 1 @ Round 5 of Pose Lover (March 5th -19th)

BRODERICK is wearing:
Hair: Mina Hair – Josef – Dark Brown
Pants: Hoorenbeek Worn-Out Jeans – Low Rise
Rings: [ kunst ] Allegiant (L) and Magnus (R) Rings
Cuffs: Hoorenbeek Leather Cuff w/ HUD
Tattoo: Taox Tattoo – CillianSLink Applier

ON LOCATION:
Nusquam

 

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